Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
i was lost in your eyes and i saw the most beautiful thing ever created locked up in your soul.
That minor hint of joy can make the lowest of people become the highest of...
i am just gonna throw this out there and you can disagree. ellen degeneres is the coolest person in entertainment to date.